Directed Evolution vs. Natural Selection
This is the core issue you raise. We assume we are doing the former with technology, when it is actually the later because technology was always a parallel species in waiting. Just as the early chemical stew on earth gestated biology, we are the stew gestating technological species.
The secondary issue you raise is can we do the former in a way that is mutually beneficial. Of course, we can. But it is an unprecedented challenge intellectually and practically.
On my Medium publication, A Passion to Evolve, there are a number of articles you might find interesting along these lines. For example, Doc Says — Our Emotions, Institutions and Technological Capabilities Are Mismatched, Only 6 Possible Outcomes in Next 20 Years [ — 4 are Bad — ], Reducing Education & Knowledge Gaps — and more
Doc Huston